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For Families

For Families
For Professionals

Mis queridos Latinx parents and familias…

I could not let the cycle continue. I decided, for me, for my ancestors and for my descendants, we’ve had enough. We’re all done here.⁣

It has gone something like this:⁣

Acknowledged the harm and hurt.⁣
Felt all the feelings. ⁣
Brought the compassion inward. ⁣
Felt more feelings. ⁣
Held boundaries. ⁣
Turned the compassion outward. ⁣
Held myself.⁣
Saw flaws and shadows in myself. ⁣
Held myself accountable. ⁣
Saw hope for healing in myself.
Did the work. Doing the work.⁣
See hope in my three babies. ⁣

The way that we are choosing to parent and move through our lives with expanding awareness is detoxifying and decolonizing our lineage. For some of us, the gift of our parents’ flaws is that we have a roadmap for where we know we will not go. We can feel gratitude for knowing that and know that our best will be better. ⁣

Many of us joined the journey of parenting differently when we realized that the way we were parented had direct impacts on our trust, our coping, our ability to be interdependent with others. ⁣It’s never EVER too late to commit to a shift. I don’t care if your children are 1, 51, or not even “your” children, (all children are our children), or reparenting our Inner Niña/o/x.

We woke up, now let’s show up to love

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I envision a world in which we freely and readily spoke the language of the Inner Niñx fluently.
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I envision a world in which I could express my activations, my wounds, my joy, my fears, my pain and know that the person hearing it could hold it, that they wouldn’t judge me, that they were not afraid of my shadow self.
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I envision a world in which cacti shed their thorns so the world could experience their juiciness. (That’s how I see us- como nopales!) 🌵
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I envision that having conversations around privilege, race, justice, gender, parenting, patriarchy, religion would flow differently if we could come from a place of having done the work to check ourselves, check what is coming from personal and ancestral wounds, check what is True, universal, and in alignment.
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I envision a world in which we share this language of the corazón. One in which I don’t necessarily let my Inner Child lead, but one in which I can use the wisdom provided to me by my Future Abuelita Self and Madre Tierra to discern what would feel loving (as my Maestra Sylvia says), and to trust that voice.
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I envision everyone holding a shared and rooted power in ourselves as individuals and as a collective. This is what this work has brought to me. This clear vision. And, as much as I know the power of this work for myself, I know the cost of not doing this work. I know how quickly I can sink into depression or helplessness if I don’t keep exercising this muscle. I know how quickly I can feel like a burden again.
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I envision the benefit that my children will reap from this practice, modeling the commitment to Knowing oneself, dispelling toxic messaging brought in by oppressive systems.
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I envision that normalizing Reparenting for parents will create a remembering of our worth, of what we need to thrive, and make us demand justice for our families and support for ourselves.

Throughout my adulthood, from time to time I’ve felt heavy grief over my childhood. The emotional abuse & disconnection was rampant, and I recognize that there are many things I will work on healing from until I transition from my body. The traumatic events shifted my needs & priorities, and I had no choice but to adapt. At the time, I couldn’t have known the long-term impact of what was happening. ⁣

Growing up, I saw my peers accomplish things I didn’t feel I could do— mainly because I didn’t care to anymore. School wasn’t a priority at all. Any kind of academic or professional achievements were last on my list. I had given up my interests, or the idea that I could have enriching interests. I didn’t apply to any colleges. I thought it would‘ve been a waste & I would’ve failed out immediately. ⁣⁣
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What DID I want? Friendships. Fast fun. Numbing. Someone to love me. Even if I didn’t love me. I attached myself to whatever and whomever I could. Often it didn’t end well. ⁣⁣
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Trauma interrupts development. Maybe this isn’t news to you. But what it means is that those who have *not* experienced abuse haven’t had this interruption. Their baseline for success looks different. Neurotypical kids who have supportive secure attachments spend their childhoods building brain pathways that allow for self-control, critical thinking, healthy decision making skills, etc.⁣⁣
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This is a conversation about the privilege that comes with having been raised with unconditional love and acceptance. It’s also a conversation about class disparities, about race & ethnicity, about subconscious ancestral wounds that need healing, about comparison, and most importantly about the mandate we have to break cycles of abuse for our children. ⁣⁣

PRIVILEGE in itself isn’t bad, it’s what is *done* with it once it is recognized— in this case, the privilege of healthy brain development— that is important. If you were this parent that has entered into parenting with wounds that you didn’t even notice until you started to repeat some of the patterns that harmed you: You’re doing great. You’re noticing now & evolving. And your kids will be privileged because of it, & use their privileges well. ⁣⁣
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I cannot tell you how much I enjoyed this conversation with Ysabel of @estoyaquillc. 🥹

We get really real & raw with our discussion on suicide through a cultural lens. If you have ever been anyone who has considered suicide as an option (like me!), or have had loved ones that have (like me!), or just care about people in general, please watch and listen.

We talk about:
👉🏽Redefining suicidal ideation
👉🏽Learning how to communicate needs
👉🏽The REAL causes of people’s suicidal ideation and/or death by suicide
👉🏽Questions to ask a person who might be considering it
👉🏽The importance of agency and autonomy in choosing resources
👉🏽 Choosing providers who are abolitionist

And SO MUCH MORE! We were on for an hour and a half and it still felt like too short of a time! 🫀

You can support Ysabel by following her work and learning about her offerings and tapping into her merch ‼️

Gracias Ysabel and I can’t wait to keep collaborating with you. 💕

#CommunityPlatica #suicide #suicideideation #suicideprevention #suicideintervention #suicidalideation

#LatinxParenting #EndChanclaCulture #RaisingFutureAncestors #DecolonizeOurFamilias #IJustWantMiGenteToHeal #TheCycleStopsConmigo
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Reclaiming our Familias.
Reclaiming Ourselves.
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