I could not let the cycle continue. I decided, for me, for my ancestors and for my descendants, we’ve had enough. We’re all done here. It has gone something like this: Acknowledged the harm and hurt. Felt all the feelings. Brought the compassion inward. Felt more feelings. Held boundaries. Turned the compassion outward. Held myself. Saw flaws and shadows in myself. Held myself accountable. Saw hope for healing in myself. Did the work. Doing the work. See hope in my three babies. The way that we are choosing to parent and move through our lives with expanding awareness is detoxifying and decolonizing our lineage. For some of us, the gift of our parents’ flaws is that we have a roadmap for where we know we will not go. We can feel gratitude for knowing that and know that our best will be better.
Many of us joined the journey of parenting differently when we realized that the way we were parented had direct impacts on our trust, our coping, our ability to be interdependent with others. It’s never EVER too late to commit to a shift. I don’t care if your children are 1, 51, or not even “your” children, (all children are our children), or reparenting our Inner Niña/o/x. We woke up, now let’s show up to love
I envision a world in which we freely and readily spoke the language of the Inner Niñx fluently.
I envision a world in which I could express my activations, my wounds, my joy, my fears, my pain and know that the person hearing it could hold it, that they wouldn’t judge me, that they were not afraid of my shadow self.
I envision a world in which cacti shed their thorns so the world could experience their juiciness. (That’s how I see us- como nopales!) 🌵
I envision that having conversations around privilege, race, justice, gender, parenting, patriarchy, religion would flow differently if we could come from a place of having done the work to check ourselves, check what is coming from personal and ancestral wounds, check what is True, universal, and in alignment.
I envision a world in which we share this language of the corazón. One in which I don’t necessarily let my Inner Child lead, but one in which I can use the wisdom provided to me by my Future Abuelita Self and Madre Tierra to discern what would feel loving (as my Maestra Sylvia says), and to trust that voice.
I envision everyone holding a shared and rooted power in ourselves as individuals and as a collective. This is what this work has brought to me. This clear vision. And, as much as I know the power of this work for myself, I know the cost of not doing this work. I know how quickly I can sink into depression or helplessness if I don’t keep exercising this muscle. I know how quickly I can feel like a burden again.
I envision the benefit that my children will reap from this practice, modeling the commitment to Knowing oneself, dispelling toxic messaging brought in by oppressive systems.
I envision that normalizing Reparenting for parents will create a remembering of our worth, of what we need to thrive, and make us demand justice for our families and support for ourselves.
There was a señora, we’ll call her Doña Lopez, in the 16-week Reparenting series that I just completed for a long-term community partner. Doña López could WRITE.
In multiple sessions, she would read something she wrote in between our times together. On the final night, which was Tuesday, she asked the group if she could read a four page letter that she had written to her mother, and intended to translate it for her daughter.
She emailed it to me this morning, all four pages and in ink, signed by her. I recorded the audio (without identifiers) and I want to play it for the community with her permission at some point. She mentioned to the group that she had found the letter, but as I heard her read it and as she shed tears (and we all did), I knew they were her words.
They were poetic words, poignant and beautifully painted on the page. I know good writers because I am one (or try hard to be one lol😅)
Randomly, this screen shot from April 2022 came up in my memories on my phone, and it made me think about Doña Lopez, mother of three, immigrant, service worker, healing inner niña, and natural born ESCRITORA.
I felt so proud and honored to be shared her writing. I didn’t even assign a final project! But I did weave in writings throughout that were meant to inspire some kind of creativity.
Access to our artistry is liberatory. We continue to fight systems of oppression so that we can choose art. We deserve access to the parts of our brain that are not survival-ridden. Our comunidad especially is one FULL of brilliant minds. Doña López is just one or them.
Now, go practice resistance by resting in an art practice. Mine is writing and dance.
[English Caption in Comments] Comunidad, una de las formas en que podemos honrar a las víctimas de la violencia armada es luchar por el control de armas para que ninguna otra familia o comunidad tenga que pasar por otra tragedia inimaginable.
Nuestra voz es nuestro poder y no podemos darnos el lujo de permanecer en silencio por más tiempo. La violencia armada continúa siendo la principal causa de muerte en los niños y es hora de que le pongamos fin.
La semana pasada hablé con Patricia Paduy-Oliver, quien perdió a su hijo Joaquín en el tiroteo de Parkland y fue una conversación que no olvidaré. Ninguna madre o familia merece perder a su hijo o ser querido por la violencia armada.
Mientras recordamos a Uvalde hoy, únete a nuestra lucha junto con @mamasconpoder y @changetheref para exigir que el Congreso tome medidas contra la violencia armada de una vez por todas.
1. Firme la petición para que el Congreso sepa que es hora de prohibir los rifles de asalto militar AHORA.
2. Manténgase actualizado con @mamasconpoder enviando un mensaje de texto al 747464
3. Visite www.myfirstschoolshooting.org (http://www.myfirstschoolshooting.org/) para leer Mi primer tiroteo en la escuela por Patricia Oliver y @changetheref y envíelo a sus funcionarios electos.
Cambiemos la realidad en la que vivimos y luchemos para asegurar un futuro en el qu
e nuestras familias y comunidades se sientan seguras contra la violencia armada.
🎨: @tinamariaelena | “Shout out to the mothers who are healing their own childhood trauma.
The mothers who are healing emotionally and spiritually.
The mamas making the effort to break generational curses.
And the mamas who are putting their children’s mental, emotional, and spiritual needs first.
You are Superwoman without the cape, making sure you are raising emotionally intelligent children.
I see you and I honor you.” —Toshia Shaw
P.S. Our Healing the Madre Wound Introductory Workshop: Re-mothering the Latinx/Chicanx Mother is always accepting enrollees! Our workshop will not only support you in healing your Madre Wound, but help you in navigating your relationship with your mom, and setting boundaries when needed so you can thrive in your healing journey.
Remember, when you sign up for ANY of our Escuelita offerings, you get an invitation into our ✨special community✨ with other alumni who have taken the workshop so you can connect & grow with others who are also healing their Madre Wounds.