I could not let the cycle continue. I decided, for me, for my ancestors and for my descendants, we’ve had enough. We’re all done here. It has gone something like this: Acknowledged the harm and hurt. Felt all the feelings. Brought the compassion inward. Felt more feelings. Held boundaries. Turned the compassion outward. Held myself. Saw flaws and shadows in myself. Held myself accountable. Saw hope for healing in myself. Did the work. Doing the work. See hope in my three babies. The way that we are choosing to parent and move through our lives with expanding awareness is detoxifying and decolonizing our lineage. For some of us, the gift of our parents’ flaws is that we have a roadmap for where we know we will not go. We can feel gratitude for knowing that and know that our best will be better.
Many of us joined the journey of parenting differently when we realized that the way we were parented had direct impacts on our trust, our coping, our ability to be interdependent with others. It’s never EVER too late to commit to a shift. I don’t care if your children are 1, 51, or not even “your” children, (all children are our children), or reparenting our Inner Niña/o/x. We woke up, now let’s show up to love
I envision a world in which we freely and readily spoke the language of the Inner Niñx fluently.
I envision a world in which I could express my activations, my wounds, my joy, my fears, my pain and know that the person hearing it could hold it, that they wouldn’t judge me, that they were not afraid of my shadow self.
I envision a world in which cacti shed their thorns so the world could experience their juiciness. (That’s how I see us- como nopales!) 🌵
I envision that having conversations around privilege, race, justice, gender, parenting, patriarchy, religion would flow differently if we could come from a place of having done the work to check ourselves, check what is coming from personal and ancestral wounds, check what is True, universal, and in alignment.
I envision a world in which we share this language of the corazón. One in which I don’t necessarily let my Inner Child lead, but one in which I can use the wisdom provided to me by my Future Abuelita Self and Madre Tierra to discern what would feel loving (as my Maestra Sylvia says), and to trust that voice.
I envision everyone holding a shared and rooted power in ourselves as individuals and as a collective. This is what this work has brought to me. This clear vision. And, as much as I know the power of this work for myself, I know the cost of not doing this work. I know how quickly I can sink into depression or helplessness if I don’t keep exercising this muscle. I know how quickly I can feel like a burden again.
I envision the benefit that my children will reap from this practice, modeling the commitment to Knowing oneself, dispelling toxic messaging brought in by oppressive systems.
I envision that normalizing Reparenting for parents will create a remembering of our worth, of what we need to thrive, and make us demand justice for our families and support for ourselves.
It's always so interesting and a true gift to see what our kids choose to be for Halloween when given total choice over their costumes. 🤩
May we always encourage our children to freely express every aspect of themselves and not project our own old socially-constructed programming about what they “should” do, like, or be in this world. Let's give them the autonomy to decide and embrace the things they show interest in. 🎃
And also, let's not forget---it's also up to us to guide children in understanding that **CULTURE IS NOT A COSTUME** so that we can, as a family, be careful and conscious about the harms of appropriation.
What costumes did your children choose this year? 👻
Parents & adults—I know it’s Monday but let’s enjoy some Halloween fun! Give yourselves permission to not take yourselves super seriously today, K?! JUEGA! PLAY! Use this opportunity to let your inner child shine and play, too. Your children will appreciate it far beyond Halloween. 🥰
So, what are you dressing up as today? What about your kids⁉️
I often tell my children that they have a right to say, "No," even to me.
Setting boundaries has not only been good for my children but it’s also benefitted my entire family (my own Mami is so much better at advocating for herself now, too.)
With the holidays just around the corner, it's the perfect time to get comfortable setting boundaries for you and your familia.
✨ As challenging as it can be, it will be liberating for us and generations to come. ✨
Check out the full article under Press Features under our bio!
And, if you'd like to learn more about boundaries and how to set them with confidence, check out our A Mi Manera Workshop! Our supportive workshop will give you the tools to approach different situations respectfully and firmly. Plus, you'll learn how to truly be an advocate for your own kids so they can feel confident using their voices as well.
Then---on November 12th, I'll be holding a LIVE Integration Session where we'll dive into the workshop content a little deeper and discuss all the ways you can implement boundaries with your familia y queridos.
Equity pricing IS available---we don't want anyone to miss out on participating! You can see the details on the checkout page of our workshop.
👉🏽 🔗 in BI0 to save your seat!
Years ago, my comadre was expressing frustration her struggle to have a relationship with her own parents after her son had been born.
She & her husband lived in the family house & her parents would frequently cross boundaries: expressing preferences between grandchildren, openly giving her & her partner unsolicited advice about how to raise & discipline their son, frequently gaslighting, & guilt-tripping them when they would attempt to set a boundary, undermining any limits attempted to be set with their son, frequently asserting non-consensual affection, & gossiping about other family members including their other kids. 😓
This created a stressful & harmful environment for her little familia. They were trying their best to be grateful, respectful, & tactful about this, but also recognized that it wasn’t healthy for their son to be in that environment, even if it was family.
As a collective cultura, this story may feel familiar to a lot of us. Everybody’s been up in everybody’s business for generations & we’re now realizing that it doesn’t feel good, and it may not be right for our familias.
No matter what, the well-being of our growing niñes comes before the feelings of loved ones. And grandparents, tíos, tías, primas, etc. *DO NOT* have the right to have access to our niñes, period. As their protectors, we have the option to take access away if it gets to a point where boundaries have been violated.
Pero...HOW do we do this? Well, it’s hard! We need support around it, and LOTS of practice.
If you've been struggling to set boundaries in your familia, then I'm inviting you to enroll in our “A MI MANERA” Workshop. We discuss how to set boundaries firmly & communicate our needs with our families while preserving relationships.
Then, on November 12th, I'll be holding a LIVE Integration session for all participants where we’ll gather and talk about the ways we can apply all this to everyday situations. No te lo piedras! ⏰
👉🏽 🔗 in BI0 to learn more & enroll! #LatinxParenting #EndChanclaCulture #RaisingFutureAncestors #DecolonizeOurFamilias #IJustWantMiGenteToHeal #TheCycleStopsConmigo...