Throughout my adulthood, from time to time I’ve felt heavy grief over my childhood. The emotional abuse & disconnection was rampant, and I recognize that there are many things I will work on healing from until I transition from my body. The traumatic events shifted my needs & priorities, and I had no choice but to adapt. At the time, I couldn’t have known the long-term impact of what was happening.
Growing up, I saw my peers accomplish things I didn’t feel I could do— mainly because I didn’t care to anymore. School wasn’t a priority at all. Any kind of academic or professional achievements were last on my list. I had given up my interests, or the idea that I could have enriching interests. I didn’t apply to any colleges. I thought it would‘ve been a waste & I would’ve failed out immediately.
What DID I want? Friendships. Fast fun. Numbing. Someone to love me. Even if I didn’t love me. I attached myself to whatever and whomever I could. Often it didn’t end well.
Trauma interrupts development. Maybe this isn’t news to you. But what it means is that those who have *not* experienced abuse haven’t had this interruption. Their baseline for success looks different. Neurotypical kids who have supportive secure attachments spend their childhoods building brain pathways that allow for self-control, critical thinking, healthy decision making skills, etc.
This is a conversation about the privilege that comes with having been raised with unconditional love and acceptance. It’s also a conversation about class disparities, about race & ethnicity, about subconscious ancestral wounds that need healing, about comparison, and most importantly about the mandate we have to break cycles of abuse for our children.
PRIVILEGE in itself isn’t bad, it’s what is *done* with it once it is recognized— in this case, the privilege of healthy brain development— that is important. If you were this parent that has entered into parenting with wounds that you didn’t even notice until you started to repeat some of the patterns that harmed you: You’re doing great. You’re noticing now & evolving. And your kids will be privileged because of it, & use their privileges well. ...
I cannot tell you how much I enjoyed this conversation with Ysabel of @estoyaquillc.
We get really real & raw with our discussion on suicide through a cultural lens. If you have ever been anyone who has considered suicide as an option (like me!), or have had loved ones that have (like me!), or just care about people in general, please watch and listen.
We talk about:
👉🏽Redefining suicidal ideation
👉🏽Learning how to communicate needs
👉🏽The REAL causes of people’s suicidal ideation and/or death by suicide
👉🏽Questions to ask a person who might be considering it
👉🏽The importance of agency and autonomy in choosing resources
👉🏽 Choosing providers who are abolitionist
And SO MUCH MORE! We were on for an hour and a half and it still felt like too short of a time! 🫀
You can support Ysabel by following her work and learning about her offerings and tapping into her merch ‼️
Gracias Ysabel and I can’t wait to keep collaborating with you. 💕
Fact: Epigenetics and the biological response to intergenerational trauma exists in our DNA. 🧬
Those of us who have come from a lineage of people who have been oppressed have HARD work to do to rewire. If we don’t approach our healing (and our parenting!) from a historical and social justice lens, we can’t approach it at all. It’s necessary that we do this with gentleness, patience, and a lot of community care surrounding it.
This isn’t just dealing with what our families went through two, three generations back. This goes much deeper. Those of us who have complicated histories and may even have the blood of colonizers running through our veins also— whew! The layers just got thicker and more important to peel back. But if we’re trying to raise Brown and Black and Biracial or Bicultural children, it is imperative that we do so. We are not stuck. We are awake.
PS 🗣TODAY IS THE LAST DAY TO REGISTER FOR THE LATINX PARENTING PROFESSIONALS INTENSIVE TRAINING ‼️
🌞 Payment Plans & Student Pricing Available
🦋 8 CEUs available and offered through @latinxtherapy
🫀 Certificate of Completion sent with goodies!
🙏🏽 For both Latinx & Non-Latinx Allies/ Professionals
🎥 Recording of both days offered if at least one full day is attended
🎶 Includes Curated Playlist
🫂 Access to Community Space of other Decolonizing Professionals
To get in before it’s too late, go to the 🔗 in our bi0 💕